Part
One
Descendance
Two friends drift through nature,
embodying a pair of peripatetic philosophers. Mia, in contrast to a spiritual
inclination, leans toward the intellectual and maintains a rather cynical
outlook on most facets of life. On the surface, our compatibility might seem
unlikely, but a unique bond binds us — a mutual respect that transcends our
differences. We are teacher and student.
During our walk, Mia unexpectedly
turns to me and remarks, “You are the modern Chiron,” invoking the
resonance of Greek mythology. She delves into the myth of Chiron, painting a
vivid picture of the wise centaur known for his healing abilities and wisdom.
In that moment, I grasp the depth of her perception, recognizing the layers of
symbolism in the comparison, and our connection takes on a new, profound
dimension.
Chiron’s destiny took a tragic turn
when he was accidentally wounded by a poisoned arrow. The arrow, tainted with
the blood of the Hydra, was shot by Heracles (Hercules) during a battle with
other centaurs. The poison from the arrow caused immense suffering for Chiron,
who, despite his knowledge of medicine, could not heal himself.
Enduring excruciating pain, Chiron
willingly relinquished his immortality. He traded his life for the release of
Prometheus, another Titan, who was enduring eternal punishment for stealing
fire and giving it to humanity. Chiron’s act of self-sacrifice allowed
Prometheus to go free while Chiron descended into the Underworld.
His story is marked by a sense of
tragedy and sacrifice. This has helped me to keep going in a life of extreme loss and suffering.
Mia is well acquainted with my life story as someone who has grappled with the polarities and
contradictions in the trajectory of circumstances, environment, and
psychological makeup.
Having
and not having, arise together, difficult and easy complement each other. High
and low rest upon each other, writes Laozi in the
Taoist text Tao Te Ching, regarding
contradictions. It gives me comfort and is part of my healing teachings to
others.
“For the umpteenth time, why
don’t you write your story down?” she suggested.
At some point, I began to entertain
the idea, viewing it as a means of forging deeper connections with my students,
sparking conversations, or even debates. There’s nothing conventional, easy, or
universally acceptable about my life, and I don’t conceal anything. The message
I aim to convey is that even when everything seems lost, a sudden turn or
rebirth can occur. It took me years of cultivation and disasters but I reached
the level of completeness that I needed to reach. From my good few acres of
land in Crestone, Colorado, I walk side by side with my wife look at the blue
sky behind the tall mountains and breathe calm happiness.
All of my relatives strongly embody
the Italian American stereotype. My maternal grandmother immigrated to America
at the age of 15, where she met my grandfather. Despite arriving with no money,
they were honest, hard working people who pursued education. My father worked
in the golf industry and established a golf driving range. Growing up, I
experienced the typical lifestyle of the full blown Italian American. Both hail from the lower/middle-class
neighborhoods of Philadelphia, particularly South and West Philadelphia, where
the Italian presence is notable. After a while my father hit it big and the money rolled in-
I was born in Philadelphia but
consciousness first dawned on me in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. As a child, I
vividly recall being surrounded by wealth and abundance that seemed to be the
norm, until I realized it wasn’t. I can’t pinpoint exactly when I became aware
that I was one of the privileged few while my classmates did not share the same
lifestyle, but it dawned on me gradually.
I have fond memories of being deeply connected with my mother and father playing with my sister and brother,
and awaiting my father’s return home when his business for the day was
concluded. School felt like a heavy burden, each day a struggle to endure,
often leading me to doze off in class. As a student, I consistently slacked off
and remained indifferent to the extent possible. I never had any idea what they were talking about nor why.
I don’t have any wondrous
recollections of childhood friends from that time apart from a few fleeting
alliances and friendships that were thin and vague and temporary alliances and
friendships. I wasn’t blending well in the social soup. On the other hand, I
have vivid memories of instances of bullying. I also didn’t blend well within
my family. Although my parents were both well educated, a success story of the
American Dream, we were fundamentally a typical Italian American family, with a
lot of machismo, shouting and unfiltered words.
I was trapped in childhood, in the
weakness of my small body and all the things that my mind and soul could not
come to ease with. Simply I felt a stranger among my family as well as the
world. Something fundamental was missing and I could feel the gap but didn’t
know what it was.
However, I can remember some
wonderful moments. There were those delightful family outings on our boat named
Tornado which was the largest class, fastest speedboat the previous year than we owned it. I adored observing the serene water parting, the waves, and the
turbulence Tornado generated as we sped onward. I cherished the salty scent,
the warmth of the sun, and the relaxed expression on my mother’s face.
As for the time I was spending alone
with my father it was the same. During the summers, we would
frequent this exclusive golf club, where only men were allowed. My father spent
six days a week there gambling in: cards, and backgammon, while
delegating the management of his businesses to others. One of his closest
childhood friends from South Philadelphia, where my father was raised, in the exact same area as the original Rocky
movie, was Joe Vito. Joe became the world’s largest online bookie before it was
legalized. My brother worked for him before the online aspect, and they kept
water buckets by their desks in case of a raid; all the bets, written on rice
paper, would go into the water.
Despite my father’s military service
as an army captain and subsequent attendance at law school, he didn’t come from
an educated. My sister, on the other hand, holds two PhDs and is one of the
world’s leading authorities on Autism.
My wife also holds a fully scholarshipped Ph.D. My only degree is the extreme school of hard knocks.
Both Joe and my father, lacking
affluent backgrounds, began by carrying golf bags for the wealthy at golf
clubs. Over the years, they saved diligently and built substantial businesses.
On the golf course, I would often
daydream and soak in the tranquil, well-kept beauty surrounding me keeping to
myself or socialize with the shoe shine personnel, wait staff, and caddies. I was always left alone.
The significant transformative
moment occurred when I was eight years old. It felt like I was being whisked
away to another dimension as I watched our TV set. That’s when I discovered Kwai Chang Caine.
In the late 19th century China, Kwai
Chang Caine was the son of an American man and a Chinese woman who found
himself orphaned. Raised in a Shaolin Monastery in Hunan Province, he underwent
rigorous training by the monks to become a Shaolin master. The series follows
Caine’s adventures as he ventures into the American Old West, armed solely with
his martial arts prowess, in search of his half-brother, Danny Caine.
Though Caine intended to locate his
brother discreetly, his training as a priest and his ingrained sense of social
responsibility compelled him to repeatedly step forward and fight for justice.
Despite his desire for anonymity and security, he found himself drawn into
confrontations that demanded his intervention.
In Shaolin tradition, monks
typically reside in temples for their entire lives. Upon reaching mastery and
leaving the temple, they are known as priests. While real-world Shaolin
practitioners often shave their heads and some choose celibacy, Caine deviated
from these norms by keeping his hair long and occasionally engaging in intimate
relationships with women throughout the series.
It felt as my true home to associate with these people and teachings. The spiritual foundations of martial arts moved me to my core.
Although everything sounded abstract and complex I recognised them as my future
development.
That moment served as the
springboard for the next chapter of my life. As a skinny little kid, I began
sneaking off to Philadelphia’s Chinatown on my own at the age of eight. This
marked the beginning of my secret world and ignited a lifelong fascination,
along with a profound sense of belonging, with masters of Kung Fu, Yoga, and
meditation. It was in that underground gym where I pushed myself harder than
ever before, striving to find my way out of childhood.
The years went by and I reached my
teens. School, this kind of organised education, was an everyday torture and I
was doing great for maintaining my total indifference but somehow avoiding
expulsion or bombing my exams. At home, I adhered to the respectful and
well-spoken demeanor instilled in me within the Italian framework. My room
became my sanctuary, guarding the various secrets I held within. Thanks to my
dedication to building my physique, I appeared older than my years, which kept
bullies at bay. Accompanying my dad to the golf club, I took on the task of
parking cars and occasionally indulged in joyrides in Ferraris, Mercedes, and
Rolls Royces—all at the age of 13, without anyone’s knowledge.
At the age of 13, I once ‘borrowed’
my father’s corvette and drove it to the football field which was a 25 minute drive on a very busy street. However, my
actions resulted in me being dismissed from the team after I jokingly inquired
about the coach’s age on his birthday while playfully pinching his cheeks and we got into a fight; he won. Only
afterwards I realized that perhaps I was being inappropriate. I was a ball of rage, a walking time bomb. As I sat in the
Corvette, a wave of regret washed over me as I realized that my inappropriate
behavior was starting to put my life at risk.
It wasn’t just the behavior; the
behavior was merely a symptom. The underlying issue I could feel was that my
association with drugs was likely to ruin my life.
It was cocaine. I had already begun
selling cocaine to my peers and was also using it myself at 13/14 years old. My family had no
suspicion, thanks to my four-hour rule: never returning home until four hours
had passed after smoking pot or doing cocaine as increased in dosage every year. I can honestly say I felt incredibly lonely. Despite
the constant flow of people in and out of my daily life—countless interactions
in which I participated—I lacked genuine relationships. My inner life remained
untouched, unloved, an isolated island. And the chasm was getting greater.
I spent most of my time either
alone in the basement boxing gym or engaging in fights with bets against other
kids. Years of punching the bag and studying martial arts had sculpted my
physique into something intimidating. By then, I had earned a reputation as a
fierce and effective fighter, becoming the youngest instructor at just fourteen
years old, all while participating in bodybuilding contests. Then we moved full time to Ft. Lauderdale. I worked at a fitness club called Sports
Rooms using a fake ID, passing as a 19-year-old fitness instructor.
That’s what I thought is the way of
survival. You have to become angrier and more egotistical, that’s what makes men.
False bravado was all I was channelling.
At fifteen, I started dealing
cocaine more largetly. By this time I was a full addict doing 1/8th at a time as a basic minimum. Soon enough, I spiralled into heavy addiction. I couldn’t sell it
anymore because I needed it for myself, resorting to theft to afford it.
Somehow, I managed to stay in school, not that I was doing well. I had a
girlfriend who was a senior, part of the popular in crowd that frequented bars and used fake IDs. Among them, I was
known as the “cocaine guy,” lost in a world where I couldn’t
communicate how messed up I truly was.
Despite putting on a facade of
smiles at parties, I don’t think I was well-liked or accepted by those around
me. The cocaine use was rampant in this social circle and I would consume
hundreds of dollars worth of it in my room, trying to time it so I could appear
somewhat coherent when facing my parents.
Once, in a paranoid episode, I
thought that somebody had broken into our home and I ran out into the night
with a knife, chasing an imaginary figure down the street. It was my
only experience of such an episode. Mom and Dad ran after me and took my pulse.
Those days there wasn’t much knowledge and information to identify something
like this as a result of drug use. So they brushed it off.
*************************
Chiron, the wounded healer, exists
as a mythic emblem saturated with layers of metaphor. With a form that melds
the equine and human, he embodies the profound duality inherent in existence
itself. In his hybrid nature, we encounter the embodiment of the lower self,
fraught with vices, weaknesses, and transgressions, alongside the manifestation
of the higher self, characterized by spiritual enlightenment, tenderness, and
wisdom. Each aspect of Chiron’s being serves as a poignant reflection of the
complexities woven into the fabric of human experience, inviting contemplation
of the intricate interplay between light and shadow within the human soul.
I was finally out of childhood in
my teenage self. I gained the autonomy and freedom I longed for and left
everything behind to start my very own story. Yet, the narrative that unfolded seemed to be plucked from
the gloomy pages of an Edgar Allan Poe story or the harrowing lithographs of
Goya.
I have no desire for concealment
despite the sadness and shame revisiting that old life of mine; a life of
helpless addiction with all its horrific consequences. Much akin to the manner
in which I implore my students to unfurl the layers of their innermost selves,
delving into the depths of their suppressed emotions to foster healing, I also yearn
to follow suit. It is my strongest wish to extend the gift of honesty, not only
for my own liberation but also to illuminate the path of authenticity for those
under my tutelage.
When my drug use became out of
control and whatever money I could earn I was blowing it on cocaine I resorted
to bigger stealing.
The psychiatric institutions were a
necessity for me and a sanctuary. I was broke, hungry with nowhere to live, sleeping behind dumpsters etc; so I
would just turn up and submit myself in order to save myself from jail and the
street and get any help I could get. And of course it was a legitimate concern
because anyone with such a habit has a psychological or psychiatric issue.
I committed some serious crimes.
Once, I held up a convenience store and strong arm carjackings. (What an ass. Lord, please forgive me. Other times, I
forged about ten-thousand-dollars of checks to post offices and sold the stamps.
I stole gold from a couple of jewellery stores by pretending to be interested
in purchasing items. The Asian owners held me at gun point and beat me up. I
reported the incident to the police, who released me without pressing charges
against them nor them against me.
I was in 21 different jails over the
US and in a few places in Canada. There
were not as terrible places as the ones reserved for really violent people, but don’t
get me wrong they were dark enough there was plenty of stabbings, fights, hangings and sexual abuse. I escaped all that by demonstrating that ‘crazy card’ that they say works in jails. It does but you have to be willing to back it up and even then theres no real safety; its 24/7 awareness. It was during transportation that I visited
dreadful prisons like a Pennsylvania State Penitentiary and Oklahoma, which
boasts one of the largest Federal correctional in Del Reno. They have left
indelible impressions on me. I recall a time in Delaware County when I found
myself sharing a cell with five other inmates.
White people were a significant minority. When one of them threatened to attack me when
the gates open I sat in the corner sharpening pencils as weapons like a madman for hours.
When we went outside I moved straight up at him and saw the fear in his eyes. I
developed the skill of appearing intense or just crazy to discourage potential
violence. There were some fights too. Luckily, i did very well; mostly, lol.
And I was that same person who never
stopped meditating, delving into the mysteries of Eastern philosophies, Christain faith; etc. Always asking
for forgiveness and and guidance. Forever seeking out personal healing. They told my sister once; he really does want to change but he cannot. Forever seeking spiritual enlightenment was always my core m.o. And, after what seems like a thousand years of trial and error it finally worked. In one of those prison
times created the first library it ever had with thousands of books I got
donated.
There are fragments of horror or
even warmth in all those places of incarceration.
I remember John, one of my
cellmates. He was a beautiful guy who always managed to be involved in fights although
he couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag.
I remember that one time when we were in line for the showers and a
skinny guy cuts in front of John with a comment about his privates. John punched
him in the face and he went down. I just caught him before his head hit the
concrete. John got angry and came at me but I had this signature move of
hitting one person’s eyes without hurting them. I stopped the fight and I
sensed that he respected me for this.
I recall the prison in Pennsylvania
as being relatively decent—a place with good rehabilitation programs and where overall
health was prioritized. However, upon my return after several years, everything
had changed. The institution was now under the control of a warden with an
extensive history in various penitentiaries across the country, nearing retirement.
Under his leadership, the atmosphere had shifted to one of palpable fear. Young
inmates roamed the halls in restraints around the clock, and a sense of unease
hung in the air.
The new guards and the warden really
disliked for me. I had become a legend and there were sometimes actual lines of people outside my cell waiting to come in and experience some real meditation instructdion. There was a barrage of disciplinary write-ups I received for
fake infractions, such as attending church without permission. Accumulating
enough of these minor offenses changes the category you are in so that would
send me to the real bad place.
I recall in a maximum security prison
where there was a guy who had to wear a strainer in his face like Hannibal
Lector, because at court he would bite people; I was locked down in a 8×6 cell
with him and the youngest Sherriff ever in Pa.’s history who had just killed
his wife. I was in a 6×8 cell with both
of them for 23 hrs a day. I was on this Maximum security wing and in this cell
illegally because the Wardon had it out for me. In this same place I
was the laundryman and a new giant size guy was screaming at me because I
forgot his laundry. I got up to him and and just lost it on him in front of
everybody scaring him into submission.. That same night he killed himself. I
was horrified and devastated in the sense that I had played a
part in his death. They said he was preparing to do it anyway but what if I had a mature reaction to him instead?
During moments of despair, I would punch
the walls, until the blood was streaming down the floor. My aim was to present
an intimidating and erratic facade, hoping to dissuade others from attacking me.
From 1989 to 1998 my life was a
whirlwind of incarceration, homelessness, rehabilitation centers, and
psychiatric institutions. Amidst it all, I found myself on the run. But when
the chaos finally subsided and a chauffeured limousine awaited me outside the
prison, I knew I had reached a point of strength, advantage. With a family
fortune worth millions and connections to high-ranking officials, including my
sister, a federal lawyer, and my father’s Mafia-linked friend who had the ear
of two senators, I was shielded from the clutches of the law.
My parents did all they could to get
me out of trouble. They spent probably more than 1000,000 thousand of dollars
to smoothen my edges out with this program and that- They would hire the best
lawyer in the state I was happening to be in each time. When my sister came to
battle for me the first time the judge told her that maybe we should forget
that the carjacking ever happened. But what could you do with someone like me?
How could you deal with an addict in your life?
I am so terribly sorry for the trouble I’ve caused!
I
found myself grappling with the harsh reality of my own mortality. But in the
end, it was not fear that defined me, but rather the unwavering determination
to rise above the ashes of my past and forge a new path forward.
A
big part of me was moulded by the hardship and adversities that my weakness was
responsible for. And despite the fact that the road ahead was fraught with
uncertainty, I walked it with head held high, knowing that with each step
forward, I would be one step closer to redemption.
***********************
Part
Two
Ascendance
I
committed my last theft in 1998 and I managed to avoid jail by being on the run
for ten years. I drifted endlessly trying to find shelter and some hint of
stability, a respite for a while, until the next wandering to the unknown.
One of the places I stumbled upon was
The University of Science and Philosopohy.
I remember standing outside the
building in the pouring rain for what felt like hours. Having not eaten for days completely drenched in very cold rain
and feeling drained, all while hoping for some stroke of luck. That’s when she
emerged – a woman with eyes that seemed to hold galaxies of brilliance, walking
a pack of small dogs. She was the widow and collaborator of the recently departed
renowned professor; Walter Russell.
She approached me and offered
shelter, on the condition that I tended to the three-tiered garden on campus.
The department soon became my home and workplace for the next six months. One day she told me “Rarely
a person comes onto this earth destined to change the world. I believe you are
one of them..” Lao Russell
Another time, at Harvard I used on
the blackboards of lecture halls (Before the movie good Will hunting came
out; lol!) It was my silent token of love for
the environment I found myself in. I have had countless conversations with the
professors there-
For a while, I ended up sleeping
behind the copier machine at Florida State University library. When
everyone left for the day I would read for hours, or come out of my corner and
watch Einstein documentaries. He said in this film “I believe
that which leads people to greatness in the arts and sciences is flight from
everyday life with its painful harshness and wretched dreariness. I needed
intellect and knowledge and apophthegms of wisdom to be fed with some courage
and strength.
I became stronger smarter
continuously but nobody knew. Certainly
not my family. I do not blame them. How can you understand or trust someone with
my background? Still, some people do change. I’d like to count myself in those ranks!
How shall I explain the quality of
an enlightened person when people ask me?
I let the 15th verse of Tao Te Ching say it –
The ancient Masters were profound and subtle.
Their wisdom was unfathomable.
There is no way to describe it.
One can only describe them vaguely
by their appearance.
They were careful
as someone crossing a frozen stream in winter.
Alert as a warrior in enemy territory.
Courteous as a guest.
Yielding as melting ice.
Shape able as a block of uncarved wood.
Receptive as a valley.
Amorphous as muddied water.
This is the kind of example we all need to shape ourselves by; day, by day by day wth no end nor ‘getting it right’ possible. In AA/NA they always said ‘progress not perfection.’
‘How
was it possible a person like you having studied all his life with some of the
greatest masters, who devoted his life to the search of enlightenment not to be
protected from addiction?’ I was asked by a friend recently.
‘Ha!
Well, the despair has a process. The first step is that you go out of the
conflict. When you go out of conflict into the intellect, into the mystery,
into words, you transcend and you’re so relieved. You think, oh god I’m going to write books and make art
and whatever else my soul can master, I don’t want this conflict. Up and
out of conflict it is for a spiritual person.
The initial impulse of the caveman is to
look at the stars and feel awe, maybe there is something up there because you
want to have perspective, you want to make sense of suffering, confusion, etcetera.
The reason my mind didn’t protect me from cocaine was that I didn’t accept the
reality of suffering. I thought I’m going
to make mistakes and if you don’t accept this about me it’s not my problem.
Now, if you are loved and protected you want to go by the rules and no lie, no
steal, no going into transgressions. I knew that I needed something more which
I couldn’t define so I went into lalaland of transgression.
I didn’t
let it protect me. The lesson is about relativity. I couldn’t understand
the world of school, classmates, family I was feeling cut off from their
reality and I wanted to ease the suffering…’
‘So,
you felt underloved then,’ he asked.
Absolutely,
always. But they loved me with everything they had and I let them down. I know that people care for within their capacity. So, why judge others for doing the best they can. Why not aknowedge their perspective. This skrockets discernment and our ability to protect ourselves. We all have emotional confusions and anger. I’m still so hurt emotionally.
But, isent everyone?
I’m too undefined. My experience of love is
the kindness I receive from people who treat me warmly and want to be around
me and want to be taught by me. Funny thing is that has become everyone. With a little bit of healing you will love in peoples eyes, everyone. I remember when I faced down a dangerous knife wielding mentally disturbed person. All’s I did was reveal the suffering we all experence thorugh my own eyes. He dropped the knife, hugged me and cried. Now thats the very best fight victory.
*************************
The Heart Sutra
This
is chanted everyday in Zen monasteries
(Translation
from the original by William Martino)
A very enlightened man once said to a
student of The Way. The body does not really have substance; even
though it appears as substance. The body is mostly empty space.
Science tells us that all matter is empty space. The body is exactly
spacious. The same is true for our feelings, consciousness, thoughts and
sensations. Everything is spacious and not polarized as we once perceived
in ignorance.
In
true spacious perception the nose, ears and eyes all comfortably abide in
spacious timelessness. Everything is more spacious than
polarized. People places and things only appear polarized; perceiving
more deeply we discover the inherent spaciousness. Every scent, sight,
sound and touch is all much more spacious then ‘solid’ or ‘polarized’.
In
this spacious timelessness there cannot be a defined separate perception;
something existing independent of something else. Here there is no
disease nor death, no non death, no suffering, no non suffering, no path nor
wisdom. Being only, contented. Allowing time to pass. The
only success in life is enjoying the passage of time.
Simply,
enlightened people are beyond myopic duality. These people are in direct
connection with the Big Picture. The truth existing behind the scenes of
environment. This truth itself is beyond commentary once the individual
experiences ‘Spacious Timelessness’.
Living
here the enlightened ones have no fear and experience profound insight into all
matters.
This
is the greatest truth in life because from it is birthed all.
Repeating
these words granting ‘Spacious Timelessness’ is the source way to become
entrusted with enlightenments power. Through it please transmute the
suffering being felt.
Gone,
gone, gone over above it all, completely transcended throughout.
Suspended animation occurring. Time passing without my
notice.
Awakened
And
So It Is
When I felt ready I embarked for the
inevitable. I went where it felt natural to be in order to enhance my spiritual
and psychic cultivation. I became an ordained Zen and spent the next four and a
half years reading rare texts, meditating, writing and leading a life of
intense discipline and structure according to the teachings of The Buddha. One
of the most lasting impressions of that time was meeting a Chinese monk who was
brought up in order to be a spiritual authority. When he was twenty years old
he retreated to a cave for an ascetic life that lasted for three years. There
with the absolutely minimum of nourishment, in freezing temperatures, cut off
from the world in silence. I was in awe of the level of his spiritual strength and
his healing powers. I yearned to attain the same degree of magic and mystery
and understanding in healing as him. One of the most important things is to
attain modesty. You’re not special. No matter how wonderful you are don’t fall
in the trap of your own uniqueness. You always have the enlightened ones that
you must listen too. Only the real humility and respect for life will help you to develop.
The monastic life suited my soul and
mind well until I felt suitably prepared to return to the world.
It was a pivotal chapter of my life
when I met Maharishi Mahesh Yogi also known as the legendary Guru to the
Beatles. I became the head of security for one of his major Transcendental
Meditation centers in Avon Park Florida. Eventually I was given access to the
most advanced, secret teachings. These same techniques were adopted by celebrities
like Clint Eastwood, Jerry Seinfeld, Oprah Winfrey, Tom Hanks and so many
others. It is a science-based approach to advanced meditation with
measurable results in biology. When he sensed my uncertainty and yearning
to advance my knowledge he whispered in my ear ‘It’s easy’. My own healing
started at this magical moment.
I solved one of their longest problems. Mobs of
conservative people who were traverse to the concept of a meditation retreat center
near them. People would come to town and harass participants with scare
tactics or physical aggression. One of them threw something at my face. I chased
them down on a high speed, got their licence numbers and had the police involved.
After a stake-out they finally got a few of them and the others got discouraged
to return. It was a twenty year old
problem of harassment to these innocuous meditator that was solved in a few weeks.
After I left Maharishi I came to
Boulder, Colorado and that was yet another rebirth. The addiction, my lifelong disease
had ended as I was healing others.
But let me digress…
By then I had met and helped by the
light and brilliance of some of the most important masters.
Initiations were completed with The
Dalai Lama in person, with Drubwang Rinpoche, the11th throne holder of the
Palyul Lineage of the Nyingma school of Tibetan Buddhism and many full retreats
and initiations with Ammachi, winner of the Ghandi/King peace prize given at
The U.N. by Jane Goodal and Kofi Annon.
I’m preparing to go to another retreat with her in a few weeks from
now. She is literally amazing.
I had personal training with Thich
Naht Hahn a Vietnamese monk, peace activist and poet and advanced private
instruction with famed Japanese monk Cealo.
After years of Zen and the inner Himalayan teachings of meditation I
felt the need to return to my roots to learn more about ‘the inner chi’ by
becoming the head cook for Master Chen and his core students; Master Chen
is a legendary Taoist Priest and Qigong/Kung Fu master who was raised on mount
Wudang; the birthplace of real deal ‘Chi Power. He created a sprawling, multi
million dollar training facility where I was in the atmosphere of another kind
of real master.
All those experiences resulted in an
understanding of the common themes and clear science of personal healing.
The
true path to wellness and success is already within people and needs a process
to be elicited through personalized attention.
While I was taught by those
brilliant minds I was accumulating knowledge that I was sharing with others. I
started teaching. And somehow the wonder started at some point of time; people
started getting healed from serious ailments.
My healing is guidance towards
advanced meditation. I will guide you deep into your depths to release your hiden and repressed stuff. Its ok, your safe now. Just let it out. The flow
of your undiscovered power is found by transmuting your negative emotion but first you have to center yourself and find where it is in your biological biography. I can teach you what to do with that power, how to use
it. How to depart from resentment and depression. Remember, if you are the warrior type then all’s good because your nectar is in your trauma/grievences being transmuted into pure power. You are more effective with Love being your guide no matter the task be it healing or fighting for what is right. Both spring from the same source.
There are some examples.
One day a lady named
Linda signed up for my seven session class. She was in her last weeks of stage
four cancer. Something miraculous happened from day one. She began gaining
weight and the cancer was gone in about three weeks. This resulted in me being
invited to the hospital to speak with the M.D. Arriving there and talking with
her primary care physician I found him to be placating. Linda literally screamed ‘You
listen to him.’ I ended up doing a series of workshops for that
hospital and they awarded me a ‘lifetime outstanding service reward’.
You can see the head nurse and hospital on my website under reviews.
Another time…
I was teaching the
official trainers of The Olympic Ski team at Body Dynamics health
club in Boulder Co. They hired me to learn about the inner teachings of Qi-Gong.
The class was open to the general public as well. This lady came in
one day banging her cane down, hands and arms severely twisted
up and legs not walking hardly at all. I was giving her a lot of
time and energy in each class. How to stand and connect with environment etc.
The lead trainer said we have been
getting complaints that you are spending too much time with Joanne. I
made an announcement. If
anyone doesn’t know this is my class you can leave. Seventy
percent of the class indeed walked out. I continued to work closely with
Joanne. In a few weeks her limbs literally straightened out
and she ran in one circle around the room, then the other direction.
I saw her years later still walking fine without a cane and
no twisted arms/hands.
I helped one of the top physicians
in the world with his back problems. They built an extra wing on their house
and I taught the whole family for years.
We eventually parted ways but few years later when his wife was very
sick with Lyme disease he flew me over to help her. After a few days she was
getting better, gaining weight and start an active life again. We went to the hospital and she tested
negative. She completely recovered in
weeks after being in danger of death.
Another case was a lady suffering
with seizures and the MRI’s showed damage to her brain increased. This was getting worse and worse for a year
or so. After a few weeks taking my class the seizures stopped and she regained
control of her life her brain healed.
There are so many of these miraculous healing stories but I’m reluctant
to share them all- Its true all these healings happened and still do; rarely but they do continue-
How, why, who, when, when not. I dont know the mechanisms but ‘resonance’ and honestly following the directions seeks key.
All I can do is point the
way. Its up to the person to face
themselves.
All the centres of your body have
names such as gut, heart backbone (mystical perceptions, psychic abilities)
these are all physical locations but also places of emotional content.
Emotional strength exist in these places and you can gain magnetic energy in
there. And all depends on the transmissions of the teacher.
At the same time my own
soul, body and mind are repairing, maintaining, upgrading continuously witout interruption. If goes up and down like cycles but any 5 year segment over the last 28 I can see it. Wouldnt you like to live that knd of life?
As extraordinary and hard to believe, it is an irrefutable scientific
fact that there are cases of virtually every terminal
or debilitating disease going into spontaneous remission. We all have disease and distortion in us. The way of personal life healing is based in admtitting that and taking responsibility according to truly wise guidance whereever we find it-; or not-
It’s not about knowing, knowing is absurd.
We don’t know anything. It’s about receptivity accptance. The founder of Aikido which is a wonderful enlightenment system taught to blend with the energies. In other words. Energy is energy its just the frequency that makes the difference. If you only objectify others you cannot blend and limit you degree of influence. I teach people to become
transparent and tell the truth about certain things. And then automatically you
get healed. And the other way is using energy with my heart/mind towards you to heal
you. Might work, might not. I dont know. But it sure has and does happen in extraordinary ways. Its all about resonance with the teacher. If thats not me please be mentored by some real spritual authority.
But talking about method is
redundant. I use my mental, emotional, esoteric strength to remove the layers
and drop the defence mechanisms. Not like an onion, but like slowly removing
the gauzes and the bandages around your wound, in order to see your wound and
communicate with it. Face to face with it. Deep trance, deep meditation is the
key, the most profound healing for the mind and body.
When I say breathe deep and calm, this is clearly a distraction. All words are distractions. I want you
to concentrate for a second, to show you how to pay attention.
But let me pick up the thread again…
So I started a new life in Boulder,
Colorado and I felt I was reborn. Apart from teaching, my first book, The Masters of Meditation was published
in 2002. I did a large standing ovation book signing in a packed room. Dragon Thunder followed in 2005. To this day I have published
fourteen books.
I live in Crestone now.
Crestone has gained international
recognition as a hub for a diverse array of religious and spiritual practices.
Catering to spiritual pilgrims and eco-tourists has emerged as the primary
industry in Crestone. The town’s evolution into a spiritual and intellectual
hub was sparked by Maurice Strong, a wealthy businessman and former United
Nations Undersecretary, along with his wife, Hanne Marstrand Strong.
Utilizing land obtained through
Strong’s corporate ventures, they established the Manitou Foundation and
Manitou Institute. As stated on its website, the institute “offers grants
and financial support to qualified religious and spiritual initiatives in
Crestone/Baca, Colorado.” The foundation allocated land in the region to
numerous spiritual and intellectual centers.
I created the
community watch here. I led the 4th of July for three years with the
biggest and best events the town ever saw.
I am considered to be a feisty and fierce martial arts
master. I have being in operations to oust
vicious criminals from the town. Situations like hiding in the bushes to track
down a murderer or working closely with the police to catch a molester.
Talking about the martial arts and
fighters…
A real fighter is a protector.
Someone who steps in to protect a child or someone weaker in distress. I don’t
believe in violence at all, it goes against my core beliefs but I believe in
the strength to protect. I’m like a human stun gun. Using my energy. Now i cant fight a significant cage fighter or Navy Seal or anything but the average street thug? No problem.
One of the community
pillars said to me recently you
know, you single handedly transformed our town. I took it
upon myself to drive them out of town. Luckily, I survived that
phase and now am leaving it to competent people who run the community watch
now.
For twenty years I have
been the official Colorado tourism/and town government ‘go to guy’ to
tour people through the various monasteries of virtually every faith.
****************************
I haven’t had an ordinary life. I went straight
finally into to the pure devotional life. I was the problem child and later the problem
adult child that my parents helped
dutifully in some of his darker times.
The way I’m wired and the intensity
of life I lived makes it hard for me to connect with people in light hearted
conversations and activities. I like to just keep it real and gritty wherever possible but I’m learning to be an old gentle cat now. People really just need kkinding. I’m learning to become friends with my students only
recently. And it’s my firm belief that nobody who wouldn’t think outside the
box would want come near me. Talk about ‘out there’. I’m your guy. But in a good way I hope. I’ve found that being truly ordinary is the mark of a healed life. Not great esoteric philosphies or arduous practices; kindess; simply kindness demonstrates the mature soul.
I haven’t cried for twenty years now, but in
my earlier years I have cried like a baby, so many times, on so many women’s
shoulders. The most recent beautiful memory was when I first came to Boulder.
She was a new age girl and I was on the run from the law. These new age people,
her group, were the only people who would accept me then. I was so broken and
they really gave me the chance to be nursed and protected. I’m not much into ‘the new age’ anymore but its a good place from lost souls.
Much later I was part of a
documentary series called Quantum Qi.
It details the teachings of people who are considered the world’s best Qi-gong Kung Fu teachers
and the inner teachings of kung fu. Lina, my darling wife found me thorugh that documentary series. She had just completed her phD. We talked
and talked and got to know each other. She told me that she never heard her
parents argue once. In my experience, from early childhood to now, there has
never been a gathering without shouting, alcohol, digarettes and cursing and feistiness. And then I
would watch her getting on the phone with her parents and they laugh
for two to three hours. All this warmth and closeness was strange, an alien
concept, it didn’t make sense at all to me. So we had this fundamental
difference in our experience with family that I found so moving and so
wonderful.
She is a person with extraordinary
intelligence and mythical, angelic beauty. She loves solitude as much as I do
and she is a very sensitive person. I tried to guide her towards healing. I
told her enjoy your breath, calm down,
relax, back off from life, life is going to do its thing, you get a rest. Find your
way to timelessness and spacelessness. Take back your power and forge your path is for each of us.
We came closer, we got happy
together and then we got married.
We talk a lot, pray
and meditate together and seep in the beauty around us.
We live in a simple, deep and
meaningful togetherness. An orange cat is added to the mix; Tahz. He is a wonderful person but he pretends not to speak engleish and acts like an animal. Thats ok. We love him anyway.
My life is full of love these days.
People travel from other states to
come to me asking for help. In a small town like this they don’t have much
trouble find my house. They ask for help and I’m full of tenderness for their
wound.
The path to personal healing is born
according to what works for the individual. Each
person requires a full spectrum approach and expert
guidance.
No masks and disguises and defence
mechanisms. Merge together.
My friend Mia looks at me with a
bright smile and big eyes.
‘Hey you, Prince of Light!’
I laugh and wave her goodbye.
Reader, thank you warmly for your
time to read this account.
William Martino and ‘The Flow’ program is virtually unparalleled in the wellness industry and endorsed by people with all sorts of backgrounds. William’s life story is amazing to say the least and ‘the rejuvenation team’ is made up of the most unique and effective individuals all trained to help people help themselves. ‘The Rejuvenation’ is the future of wellness, self healing and self actualization methodology available now.
